Is this depression?

My aunt's fiance died about 5 years ago. Since then she won't clean her house, (it's pretty disgusting), does almost everything on impulse, can't stand to be around loud noises or children, is extremely judgmental and can't seem to see why some people don't like to be around this. She's also going through menopause. Is this just laziness and her true colors coming out or is a form of depression. She makes her son do everything for her and is now obese and getting a gastric byp because she thinks it's the easy way out. I'm not sure how to help her see what's really going on. She seems to be clueless about what her life is really like. She favors her daughter and worships her while she treats her son like a slave.