Untitled poem... C/C please?

I've read the same poem a hundred times by a hundred different people. Make it personal!! Make me understand your situation without hiding it underneath a load of words like 'iridescence' and 'resonate' - bring it home to the reader! I like the idea, I hate how you've presented it. Look at it, you're obviously more talented than this, go and write something that sounds like you, not a copy of what you think poetry ought to be like.